Forgive Me, Forget Me
by lokli2
Summary: Neji is driven to alcohol, drugs, and sex after finding that Tenten loves someone else. Suicide fic, and if you haven't realized, it's a whole world away from my other fics. I don't own Naruto


Not much to say here, just was inspired by Blue October's "Hate Me". Sorry that it's so short.

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"Ungh?" I say as I wake up with a headache, with a confused look on my face. I take a look around, noticing the nightstand with all of the various pills, and the half empty bottle of whisky stacked there. I wipe some long black hair from my white, slightly bloodshot eyes, as my memories come flooding back to me of all the recent events. Everything. The drugs, the booze, the floozies, the intervention, and everything after that that had lead me to where I was at that moment.

Hiashi.

Hinata.

Tenten.

Tenten? Why couldn't I be there with you from the very beginning? Why couldn't I love you from the very beginning?

My nose starts to dribble crimson, probably from that coke I did last night. I wipe it with my sleeve and pull myself off of the floor. I moan at the pain in my head as I walk to the nightstand, and take a long, drawn out drink from the bottle sitting there. I walk into the bathroom of my one room apartment, to inspect myself in the mirror.

When I get there, I see that my hair has gotten even longer, out of control with multiple knots. My bloodshot white eyes, still with crust that built up while I slept. The small scabs, and holes in my arms from the various needles. The rust that had built up on my chin, and cheeks. I hadn't shaved in days. What was the point? Then I noticed the small red mark beginning to form at the side of my mouth, and I let out a groan, "Fuck, that bitch said she was clean." Most people would be brokenhearted at the thought of getting an S.T.D. but I didn't care. Nobody cared, and I think that was the main reason I didn't care. All it took was more pills. Pills and booze, they could make any pain disappear, outside and in.

I walked out of the small bathroom, rubbing the rust on my chin, and I walked up to my dresser. Opening up my drawer to pull out a shirt, I noticed something in the very bottom. Reaching down, I grabbed what it was and realized it was a picture. A small memory of the morning She had woken me up just before dawn, so that we could go to the hokage monument and watch the sunrise. My eyes welled with tears of nostalgia. I never cared anymore for anything, except for the girl in this picture.

'Get a fuckin hold of yourself, you had your chance, before she fell for him.' I choked back the tears, refusing to let them fall. Nobody was there anymore, and it made me sad. And that sorrow turned to anger. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the image in the mirror. Every time I looked at the reflection, it sickened me more and more. I began grinding my teeth, and breathing harder.

Then I snapped.

I pulled back my hand in a ball of rage, and slammed it into the mirror as hard as I could. It seemed like the mirror cracked, broke, and flew apart in slow motion. I just stood there seething as I watched shards full of my reflection fly everywhere. That's when everything seemed to speed up again, and I noticed the large piece of glass reflecting my image from the sink.

Before I knew it, I had grabbed it, and the piece of glass was at my wrist. I pushed down as I slowly pulled the imitation knife, but quickly stopped. "Fuck." I had forgotten. Had forgotten that I had made a pact to myself, that if (or more when) I committed the act, I would tell people why.

I dragged my feet as I left the bathroom, truly reluctant to make the note. I grabbed a pen, and a small piece of paper, and began to write.

_Dear everybody,_

_If you are reading this it means that you have found me. If you are wondering why I did such an unspeakable act, you should know that I chose this path, and followed it, with the ability to pull off at anytime. You're asking yourself, 'If he could leave this path, why didn't he?' Well the answer is because there would be no reason to: My uncle hates me, my cousin is better off without me, and I was too late for the girl I loved._

_Hiashi-sama, do not feel that this is your fault. I can completely understand why you kicked an alcoholic drug addict out of your home. It was to protect Hinata and Hanabi. I will always love you like a father, no matter what happened between us, and I hope you feel the same._

_Hinata-chan, one of the biggest reasons I did this was for you. I loved you like a sister and now you can stop worrying about me, and be with Naruto. He is a good person, please don't hurt him, and that goes the same for you Uzumaki._

_Finally Tenten-chan, you were my teammate, and my only true love. If only I could have seen it sooner, maybe we could be together, and I wouldn't have done this. Even with that said, please don't blame yourself for my actions, everything was my fault. Now that I'm gone, I leave my greatest wishes to you. Tenten, my first wish is that you keep loving Lee, and be happy. Tenten, there's one more thing I want you to do for me._

_Forgive me, and forget me._

_Hyuga Neji_

As I finished writing the letter, I read it over, with water freely rolling down my cheeks. I picked up the envelope ready to end the pain, but as I went to pick it up, I noticed the picture of me and Tenten lying on the floor. I picked it up and admired it one last time before I stuffed it in the envelope, with the letter and sealed it. I went and made up my bed real nice one last time.

I laid down, with my tears dry, and picked up a random handful of pills from the table. I grabbed the bottle, ready to take the last drink of my life, but I put it back down and shook my head, "No." I lied back and poured the pills down my throat. I quickly felt the meds taking affect as my body went numb, and cold. My eyes slowly closed and I slipped into unconsciousness, with the last words of my letter ringing in my head.

_Forgive me and forget me._

_Please, forgive me and forget me._


End file.
